Make A Start

I've sat staring at the cursor flicker on and off, looking at the blank page and not knowing where to start. Then I realised that's how I am going to start this blog post. And then I knew what the title of this post is going to be. I have things on my heart that I want to write about. That's the best feeling. I haven't written much lately and I miss it. Now I want to write. I have a lot I can write about. This feeling like I want to write is amazing. I can only write when I feel that inspiration and I feel my inspiration coming back.

I signed in to my blog tonight and on the recent views I saw one of my blog posts "A message of Hope" has got the most views lately so I opened it up and read it. As I was reading I was thinking God helped me write that. God is my inspiration and God's helped me write. I am so thankful that I can write and I want to keep writing for Him.

We come to the title of this blog post, which came in a very thought provoking moment (not really) but that's the point of it, I didn't have a title immediately. I just made a start on this blog post and then this mixture of thoughts in my head is coming together to create something. Who knows what it will create but as you keep reading I hope this mumbo jumbo makes sense. I just wanted to write mumbo jumbo in my blog :). Ok back to the title...

That's what we've got to do sometimes. It's not about overthinking things it's about just going out there and making a start. The best place to start is to start. Put one step in the right direction and step after step later you're on your way. You just need to make a start. So wherever you are and wherever you want to be, make a start to get there.

The question that runs through our mind is how am I going to do it? What if it doesn't work out? It's questions like those that stop us from starting. We can't base our lives on "What ifs". We don't know what life will bring and sometimes that's the beauty of it. You can't say this will happen and that will happen. You don't know what is going to happen. All that stress of what could happen will weigh you down.

That's when you go out and you just make a start. I don't know what will happen but I trust God has got a plan for me and that's enough, I have faith in that. Just like I didn't know what this blog was going to be about but I just started it anyway and as I'm writing now the words are flowing. I feel the keyboard and as I'm typing away it feels good.

Have you got a long essay to write? Make a start. Have you got a job to look for? Make a start. Have you got a house to clean? Make a start. Have you decided not to read my blog posts anymore? Ok that one is a trick question ;). My point is sometimes you don't think, you just do and sometimes that's the best thing. Sometimes it's not the best thing too. It depends what you're making a start on.

Put the key in the engine of your life and start it and then you can drive on your life's journey that God's planned for you. Make a start.

With that I shall love and leave you,
Until I write again,
God Bless,
Nicola Hill

A poem for my Papou (grandfather)

My Papou (grandfather) passed away on the 10th of August. I couldn't attend his funeral but I wrote a speech and I wrote this poem that was read at his funeral. He was always writing lists so I wrote a poem in the form of a list. 

Here is my poem in memory of my Papou:

Number one of my list,

My Papou will be really missed,

Number two,

Our lives have been blessed to have you,

Number three,

You loved your friends and family,

Number four,

You are not alone, your wife and daughter were already waiting for you when you opened the door,

Number five,

The memories we have in our hearts will keep you alive,

Number six,

The things that made you who you were was the perfect mix,

Number seven,

You’ll be looking down at us from heaven,

Number eight,

Everything you’ve done we really appreciate,

Number nine,

Don’t worry about us we will be fine,

Number ten,

We’ll meet again, rest in peace until then.

 Love Nicola 

Gossip

Hi all!

I starting writing a blog post the other day but something was missing. I knew I had things on my mind that I wanted to write about but I couldn't find the words. I haven't written in a while and it's been a hard year and I haven't felt ready to write something. I know the moment when I feel inspired to write and I haven't felt it until now. I have been reading over my own blog posts and even some of them have helped me lately. I wrote them when my faith was strong. That's the thing about faith it's like a plant you have to water and if you water it, it will grow and if you don't water it, it will start to die but you can always plant a new seed, you can always rebuild.

My life has been hard this year, it's been hard because I've been listening to the views of people over the view of God. Sometimes no matter how much you care for people they don't care for you in the same way. Sometimes friends don't turn out to be friends. Sometimes people judge you before really knowing you or where you are coming from. Sometimes we forget that God loves us and God knows our heart, He knows who we are. In all of this I lost sight of who I am. I felt down in myself and I wanted to hurt myself sometimes. I cried a lot and I didn't want to live.

I've read about people who've felt that way because of others but I didn't know it could be me one day. The words we say and the way we treat each other have a massive effect. Words and actions can be two of the most damaging things. That includes me, I have to watch my own words and actions. I am not judging anyone and I am not a perfect person. I have faults too and I have made mistakes. I am just writing about how it felt.

The thing about us all is that we all have faults just different ones and because we're not perfect we don't have a right to judge others but we all do it and it turns in to this thing called gossip. I found a bible verse tonight on gossip that says, "He who belittles his neighbour lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. He who goes out as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps things hidden." ~ Proverbs 11: 12-13.

I am not writing about myself being gossiped about but I am writing about gossip in general. We have all been gossiped about at some point in our lives. Being around a lot of gossip lately has made me think about the impact it has on others. I have seen the hurt people have felt from it and gossiping does damage, it doesn't do good. It causes many problems. I saw a quote that said, "Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people care, the rest just want to have something to gossip about."

There will be people in life that we don't get along with. There will be things people do that we don't like. There will be things people do that we know is wrong. The more we talk about it, the more it turns from a conversation into gossip. It's interesting when you write it like that isn't it because it makes me think wow I gossip too. Everybody gossips. If you type gossip quotes in google there are no inspiring happy quotes on gossip. It's not portraying gossip as a positive thing because it's not. Gossip is talking about someone behind their back. There is a quote that says "Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you." Very true! It couldn't be truer.

Here is a quote that I liked:
 
Gossip becomes an addiction. When conversation turns into belittling and putting down others that's when it has turned in to gossip. It's easy to want to talk about other people. There is a difference between acknowledging their faults and gossiping. At the end of the day the human race is just stupid. We hurt our own race from within. We don't need to get hurt by animals or any other species because we do it to ourselves. Don't take me bluntly I am not having a go at the human race, it's more my sense of humour. We are just stupid people :).

Even with our stupidity God loves us unconditionally. God's taught me to love people even when people don't love me. I love people. I don't hate them for what they do to me. I don't like the things people do sometimes and I am sure people don't like the things I do sometimes. We're all a bit faulty, we're all a bit gossipy, we all can hurt. Gossip extends the hurt. By putting someone else down it doesn't make you any better, in fact it makes you worse than the person you are gossiping about.

I really liked this quote below :)

The one thing I have learnt this year is not to let the words and opinions of others get you down. The only opinion you need is God's. Maybe that's why I went through what I went through because God wanted to teach me something. I know who I am. I have good things about me, I have bad. My friends will accept me and value me as I am and people who don't want to be my friend won't. I like being people's friend. I know sometimes people will close the door on me but when I am someone's friend, I am their friend. I like this quote below:

That loreal ad has just popped in to my head. You are probably wondering what I am talking about and how this has got anything to do with anything. I like the quote from it that says "because you're worth it." Never forget in life that you are worth it. You are a special person. I appreciate all the people in my life, I love you guys!

With that I shall love and leave you,
Until I write again,
Nicola Hill

In loving memory of My Mom

16 years ago today since my mom passed away. I loved and miss my mom always. I wrote this poem about her.

My Mom

Life's a journey we all take,
But sometimes everything stands still,
When we lose someone we love and we feel our heart break.
I miss my mom, I always will. 
The love that she would show,
The way that she would care, 
Gave her this glow,
She was always there.
My mom spent her life loving,
She was so strong,
She was kind and giving,
And although her life wasn't long,
She loved all the people she met in it,
And although she's not here today,
And in my heart there's an empty pit,
Her love is what shows me the way. 

~ Nicola Hill

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year

I don't know what the new year will bring,

But I do know one thing;

Every year has good and bad,

Think about the good times you had,
Those you met along the way,
The memories that will always stay,
The lessons that helped you grow,
The love that people show.
Wishing you another year,
Of moments that you will hold dear.

~ Nicola Hill

Time

Where does the time go? The days, the months, the years. One moment you're thinking about what could be and the next you're looking back on all the years behind you. Have you heard the saying:
 Time waits for no one.

It's true. You can wish for time to stop, you can wish to go back but one thing about time is it goes on. Time doesn't depend on you. That's the thing about time, what happens, happens. It cannot be changed. Time will keep moving. Which brings me to the story of time.

The story of time is a story of what happens as time goes on. That we do have control over. We have a choice every day about what we will remember because everyday as time is moving we are making memories that we will look back on. Those memories cannot be changed because a time machine has not been invented yet but the good news is I am working on it. No I am not, I don't believe in time machines, you will never be able to change what has happened in time. That is why it's important what you do with each day you're given as time is ticking and there's no rewind.

What has happened cannot be changed but there is another saying time heals all wounds. To me it means that time heals emotional wounds, The wounds that cut people to the core from death to life experiences. Those feelings that overwhelm people. I think those wounds do heal with time but we have to give them time to heal. They don't heal in your time or when you think they should. They don't completely heal either there'll always be a scar but it won't hurt at much anymore because it won't be an open wound. The best thing for those kind of wounds, give it time. It even says so because it's written in the handbook of emotional wounds. There is no handbook of emotional wounds.

A good question is who are you today? It really got me thinking about who I am. Am I who I want to be? Am I affected by what has happened to me in time? Of course I am, we all are. Our history, our past, everything affects who we are today. It's those unique things that make us who we are. I'm not perfect, I know that may come as a shock to some of you but I'm not. I haven't ever met anyone who is either. I'm not happy with every aspect of who I am and I can never say that I am who I want to be. Let me explain why.

To be a good person is a lifelong thing you have to keep working on every day. I will never be perfect so I don't strive to be, I will never be fixed. I am a constant working project. The thing I love about God is that although He knew that we're going to be these billions of ongoing projects we were still created and given a chance to work on ourselves. He is the engineer that created us and offers His help all the time but we don't always take the help. We don't always follow the instruction manual that is the bible. We think we know how to put the pieces together but we don't. I don't, I can't put them together without Him and I don't always get His help when I need it.

That's the thing I do need it, we all do. God gave us time. This time to have our lives. As our lives go on and we wonder where does the time go, we should also be thinking how are we spending it.

So we've all got this huge gift of time from God, how are we going to spend it?

With that I shall love and leave you,
Until I write again,
Nicola Hill

I Am Me

This is a new poem I wrote called I am me:

I Am Me

I am me,

I am the only person that I know how to be,

I am not a little and I am not a lot,

I know what I am and I know what I'm not,

I love people, I like what I do,

It's a treasure to find people who love you for you,

I am not a creation that comes from the mind,

I am a person, one of a kind. 

I can be scared but I am not afraid,

The past has never stayed,

Even when things don't go my way,

I know there is hope for a better day,

I am thankful for my life and for those who see,

That I am me. 

~ Nicola Hill