What I've learnt in 30 years

I wrote a blog post on this blog when I was 25 called "What I've learnt in 25 years."

You can read it here:

http://nicolathewriter.blogspot.com/2014/05/what-ive-learnt-in-25-years.html

That's all I wanted to say, I haven't learnt anything new now that I am 30. Therefore that's what I've learnt in 30 years too. I just decided to stop learning because at 25 you know everything. It's the same when you're 16 or 18 and you think you know everything. The truth is in life you are constantly learning and growing. It does not stop. As you get older, you actually realise how different you are compared to when you were younger. How much differently you value things and how your outlook on the world changes and how you as a person are different.

I've had quite a few topics on my mind recently that I want to write about and I am going to write more blog posts but I thought I can include some of it in this post. I didn't know what kind of blog post I wanted to write tonight but then I thought I have turned the big 3-0 this year in April (April 14th to be exact - add it to your calendar haha) and I haven't written about my wisdom now that I am 30. I am just pretending I have wisdom, you have to gain something from turning 30 right? On a serious note, yes I am more serious now I am 30 (let's all laugh together) but on a serious note you do learn more and more as the years goes by. I am just sharing what I have learnt in my life so far.

Let me start with Friendship. I thank God for the people in my life and the new people that come in to my life. I have met and continue to meet such amazing people from all sorts of places and backgrounds on this journey. I will write more about friendship in another post but this is a highlight.

In life what you value in friends changes. We all want people that we get along with, that we can rely on, that make effort and that we can talk to. Having a laugh with friends is one of the most wonderful things too! The greatest thing I have learnt about friendship is like with any relationships is it takes work. Another thing I have learnt too is that it takes patience. People are not available all the time but friends will make time for you when they can. One of the most important things about friendship is that it takes effort from both sides.

I have also learnt that you and your friends are not perfect. Sometimes you go through struggles with your friends and sometimes you know a true friend when you've been through a lot and you're still friends. A lot of people look or expect this great friendship from someone but no one is perfect and it's also about what you are giving to your friendships too - friendship is a two way street. One of the other most important things about friendship is listening. Always listen to the whole story. Sometimes you need to hear everything, you don't know what someone is going through or what they are trying to explain. You don't know where they are coming from if you don't listen.

Everybody is friend-worthy. Remember that. No matter who you are the best thing is to be yourself. People who will value you for you are the type of friends you want. Never think that you don't deserve a friend or you aren't cool enough or whatever you think - you deserve great people in your life who love you for who you are! Never value your worth from people that don't see your worth. Have people around you that build you up not bring you down.

Next let's go on to Relationships. I've done online dating. I've been on quite a few dates this year and over the years and I've found what I looked for in a person when I was younger to now has changed. I've learnt that choosing a person to spend the rest of your life with should never be a rushed decision. Don't date someone just because you are lonely. Don't date someone you don't see it working out with long term. Don't date someone who you can't trust. Pay attention to any warning signs early on.

One of the most important decisions you will make in your life is who you will spend your life with. Remember with relationships and in life you are not on anyone's timeline. Just because some of your friends or family may be married or are in relationships or have kids doesn't mean you have to hurry up! I am sure you will meet someone great and it will happen but don't rush it. Relationships also take work. The honeymoon period ends. It takes two people working together to keep things together. Be with someone who wants to work with you. Be with someone who brings out the best in you and you can be yourself around and enjoy life with.

Let's talk about good old Work. They say do a job you enjoy. I've met a lot of people who don't enjoy what they do and I have met a lot of people who enjoy what they do. I am happy to have a job I enjoy. Whatever job you are doing I have learnt that there are times you need to work but also make time for life too. As they say work to live, don't live to work.

If you want to do something, do it! I saw this quote below online and I really liked it! I saw it and could relate to it in my life because I started doing things that I've always wanted to do. Whether it's going on new adventures and travelling, finding a new career or job or moving or whatever you want in life - if you make a start and do something it is the best feeling! I always wanted to travel the world more and this year I have been doing that and I am loving it! I've done solo travel too which I will write more about in another post sometime.

It's good to do things, it's also good to be sensible about it. Don't just do things suddenly and end up in debt or worse. Save, wait, do. They say don't make big life decisions when you are having a bad day or unhappy either. Do things that are going to help you. Remember you have the power. You can change your life. 

Don't take things at surface value. Things can appear good but after looking into to them, you may realise it's not what it appears. It actually reminds me of this meme I saw once of  a chocolate chip cookie but it was a raisin cookie! I always remember it because I am not the biggest fan of raisins and I would be unpleasantly surprised to find my chocolate chip cookie turned out to have raisins instead of chocolate chips. Be careful in life too, you may think you are eating a chocolate chip cookie but it's actually a raisin cookie! It can applied to people or situations or anything! If you actually like raisin cookies (really?)  just imagine a different example. I've actually just googled memes on it. See below, you're welcome.

Next let's talk about what I've learnt about Gratitude. I came to the Uk over 9 years ago and I didn't know what it would bring. Looking at my life now, I am so thankful for how it has turned out. I have had some tough times here too but I'm here, I'm happy and I'm thankful. In life we spend so much time hoping for certain things to turn out exactly how we picture them and we spend too much time thinking about the future and how things could turn out but think about the moments you are in now and all you have too. It's not about looking at life and measuring our lives by what we don't have but it's about looking around and seeing all the things we have to be grateful for. If you just think about your life you will find there is so much to be thankful for already!

I know we can easily say this but there are so many people in this world who would be so thankful for the life you have! I grew up in Zimbabwe, in a country that faced and still faces a lot of problems. There are other countries that are war zones. There are other countries where it's just a struggle to survive because of poverty. There are so many different struggles in this world. The little things you think you have, someone somewhere around the world could be praying for.

We will always want more or wish things would work out a certain way or we think about things that didn't work out but it's like that quote says it's not happy people who are thankful, it's thankful people who are happy. We find that happiness doesn't come in getting what we want but in appreciating what we have. I like this quote: Have an attitude of gratitude.

Life goes fast, treasure the moments! You know one day I was turning 20 and then I woke up the next day and I was 30. Life does go fast but there are great moments we have and we should treasure each one! One thing we know is we are all going to get older. I had some great fun in my 20's and I feel like my 30's will be the same or even more so because I think by the time you are 30 you know more of who you are. You get to know yourself more. There will always be great things I want to do! The things you enjoy definitely change throughout the years! What you liked when you were younger you don't like as much now or you like completely different things.

Thank God for these 30 years plus a few months so far. I write about God in my blog posts because God is an important part of my life. Without God I wouldn't be where I am now. I've had my ups and I've had my downs in life and God's helped me through it all. I've had my lowest points when I've felt further away from God. We never know when our lives will end, we do know that we all die one day. We've lost people already in this life and it has hurt. It makes you think sometimes that this life can't be it, there has to be more right? Whether you believe in God or not, I do and it's part of who I am.

Speaking of highs and lows - it's important to share how you are feeling. I know people going through struggles and if that's you too, talk to someone whether it's a friend, family member, therapist anyone you can confide in. Try do something you enjoy, spend time with people you enjoy, get some fresh air in nature! Eat a raisin cookie! Wait what?! Don't do that! If you want to talk to me, you can too.  Another thing I learnt from going through things myself at times in the last 30 years is that: Feeling low doesn't last forever and there are good things around the corner! Hang in there!

One amazing thing I have learnt in 30 years is the importance of loving others! I love people. I love that everybody is different. I love the unique things about the people I know that make up who they are. Everybody wants to be loved and feel loved. Love the people in your life! Don't buy them raisin cookies! Ok I know enough about the raisins now! I actually do eat raisins sometimes and I totally ok with you liking raisins, a dehydrated grape - yummy! I just like bringing it into the blog post for fun. I eat most things, some things I just don't like as much as others.

What were we talking about? Oh yeah loving people. Yeah just love them. Thank you. If you love me you will... NO! Love without conditions. Love unconditionally. People who love each other don't buy each other raisins. Woah where did that come from? I thought we were over that now! Excuse my horrible sense of humour. That's another thing about being me I have learnt in 30 years, I let my sense of humour out a lot more than in my younger years. I am just me. I can't be anyone else. I say and do the incredibly intelligent, amazing and never stupid things because I am me! (I do some stupid things sometimes). I am clumsy, I make mistakes, I fall over. Have you ever tripped up the stairs? That's me too sometimes but hey I am me. Another thing I have learnt is Be You!

In Summary some things I have learnt are:

Everybody is friend-worthy.
You are not on anyone's timeline.
If you want to do something, do it! 
Don't take things at surface value.
You can change your life. 
Have an attitude of gratitude.
Life goes fast, treasure the moments.
Feeling low doesn't last forever and there are good things around the corner. Hang in there!
Be You!

And:
It's ok to like raisins and it's ok not to like raisins (phew that's settled)! 

I pray that God blesses you in your life. Know that God is there for you anytime, not just to pray about things or ask for things to but also to talk to too. You are never alone. May you find peace in your life.

I saw this online tonight and I really like it. I hope you get to or are at this place:

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With that I shall love and leave you,
God Bless always,
Until I write again,
Nicola Hill