Remember Who You Are

 Hi all,

Here we are again reading another blog post. I have had writers block for a long time but slowly my writing is coming back. I went through a few years of not writing much at all and that is evidence that something isn't right. Although is there ever a time where everything is right? Where something doesn't happen in life? The answer is no there isn't but at the same time we shouldn't allow that to stop us but we do. It's not that easy is it. 

I appreciate you reading the words I put together on a page. It's weird when I write I can make sense of the world and I can make sense. Or I hope my blogs and writing make sense but I feel it's a good way I can express myself whereas in person I cannot. It's because when I write I take the time to think and reflect and form my words but when I speak or text I don't have the time to do this. I am a writer but I am not a good texter. My texts are blank and boring and direct most of the time and my typos almost appear that I can't speak English but my writing has actually formed words. Or I think it does. I just spent a whole paragraph with nothing seemingly substantial but actually if you look up at title of this amazing blog post you will see all this is creating the topic I had in mind. A bit of how I work as a person. 

The greatest journey we go on in life is not the the places we go or the people that we see, it's the journey of discovering who we are. It's the journey of knowing I am me. Am I perfect? Of course I am. I am perfectly imperfect. So what makes you who you are? It's a mix actually. I can't actually tell you the answer to that because every story is different and every bits that form the core of who you are come from all sorts of places, upbringing and experiences. I don't know everyone's ingredients. No one knows mine but with all that mixed together forms a person. Can we ever change the ingredients? No we cannot change life experiences but we can change how they affect us. 

Although we must accept that it's a part of us. Will everyone like the ingredients we have or what end product we produce. The answer is no. We are not everybody's product. People like different things in people. Sometimes you find a product that stands the depths of time and space and that is always your product regardless. These are your products. These are your people. Not everyone though is your people. 

Sometimes too we spend a long time in the baking stage or we go back to reflecting on the baking stage where each product is raw. When you have ingredients to make something putting them all together and the finished product tastes a lot better than the separate ingredients if you were to eat each ingredient on their own. Sometimes more ingredients too get added to it and sometimes those ingredients are in the wrong quantities and it makes the end product different. 

We have got to find that balance of all those ingredients and also accept that the ingredients make us. Although there are also ingredients that are overpowered by others and we didn't know those other ingredients are there. To put this in plainer terms we don't know the underlying pain someone is experiencing as sometimes pain is masked by other things. We live in a world where it pushes us out to be this finished product before we are ready and we pull ourselves out the oven before we are fully cooked.

Sometimes we have to go back and remake the product and this is a regular occurrence as there will always be ingredients added. Will we ever be a finished product? Yes but we will never stay a finished product because it's a journey. We just need to find the balance between the different ingredients knowing we can't change some of them but some of them we can.

Let me explain. I know at this point you are thinking yes please explain! Maybe you thought you clicked on a baking blog instead. So some ingredients are not substitutes they make the final product, for example you can't substitute a tea bag if you want a cup of tea but you can change to having sugar or milk with tea. The tea bag will always be there but you can change what goes with it. I am using a tea bag as an example because I live in England and tea is the language of the British people. Let me put this in the language of my African people too. So you can't substitute a braai (barbecue) if you want a braai because you need the charcoal braai if you want a proper braai but you can change the meat you cook on it. 

Therefore we cannot change our past experiences but we can change ourselves. I realise I went from baking to cups of tea and braaiing but I am explaining the mix of things. You can see how my brain works.  I am hoping though by each person thinking about what ingredients or baking products they like or what ways they like their cups of tea or coffee or what way you braai (barbecue) you realise how complex we all are. How differently each way all of those things come together to be things we like.

In the same way we are complex people made up of so many things. It's finding those people that understand that we are complex. That we aren't perfect. That we are hurting. That we have great parts of us too. We are made up of so many things. Are you ever going to find a perfectly fully formed product? No you wont and while we need to accept this about people, we also need to accept this about ourselves.

It's also realising too that you need to find people who like your ingredients, not change your ingredients to make people like you. You need to find your people. Your tribe. Sometimes we focus on certain ingredients people have we don't see the whole picture. To know someone is to take the time to learn more about them. To listen to them when they are trying to talk you. Yes sometimes people need to substitute some of their ingredients too but you are not baking their cake, they are. They need to find the right ingredients themselves.

If you read my title what did it remind you of? If any of you thought of the Lion King - I will actually bake you a cake. Ok I wont because I don't have the time and it would be a lot of cakes to make but watch this scene below. I think it is iconic and this reminds me of my late mom. Parents are people who love us unconditionally who love who we are. Remember who you are. I think this scene has really good words too.

Lion King Scene

I hope that you all remember who you are and that people love you for you and that you be the best version of you. And also remember that we are all a mix of a lot a lot of ingredients and sometimes we don't know the pain underneath someone is experiencing. We need to work on ourselves and we also need to work on how we look at others. 

With that,

I shall love and leave you,

Until I write again,

Nicola Hill

Some things to remember

Hi everyone!

It has been a long time since I wrote a blog post. You’ve probably forgotten that I even write and if you didn’t know I write now you do. I miss writing regular blog posts. It has been a difficult few years between Covid and an energy crisis among other things. I can’t say this is why I haven’t written, but I can say that I write when I feel inspired and sometimes we get so wrapped up in doing other things. I’ve had a lot of changes in my life in the last few years too. I can’t even say I’m the same person that I was a few years ago. I’ve had different jobs and I’ve also changed within myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still me I’ve still got the same weird sense of humour that you’ve all come to know and love and if you still don’t get my humour just humour me. I guess what I mean by change is that a lot happens in our lives that we have to evaluate and we have to deal with lessons and changes within ourselves.

The world has changed a lot too in the last few years, and who knew we’d be living through such a crazy time. We have a pandemic, we have a war, we have an energy crisis and we have inflation. There has even been an earthquake. We’ve lost loved ones. Okay, I’m not just going to list all the stuff that’s going on, but I am here to talk about the reality of what we’ve all gone through, and that we’re all here still surviving and we're getting on with life. I am not trying to make you sad by the way if you keep reading. Maybe you are thinking who is this writer but I promise there is always a cherry on top, It feels like a violin should play at this moment.  It is not the same world we had a few years ago, in some ways for some of us it is worse and in some ways for some of us it is a better. 

There are people who lived through worse than what we have faced. There are people going through worse now. They always say that that is irrelevant and doesn’t help the situation now and doesn’t help how someone is feeling by telling them someone else has it worse, but I think what does help the situation now is to be grateful for the things that we still have. Roof over our heads. Friends and family or partners that love us. A job. I know these are the things people always say and it doesn't feel like much but it shows how much we take for granted. I could extend this list of good things we have a lot longer than the list of tribulations, we face. If you really look at your life, there’s always something to be thankful for. We may have different things we have compared to others but there’s always something to be thankful for. If you list the good things in your life you will find a lot. 

There is also always something that we want that we don’t have or something someone else has that we want. We will live our lives in misery if we are always focusing on the things that we don’t have, but we are all guilty of it and we all bring ourselves down because of it. 

 I may have said this before in my blog posts too but whatever you are facing in life after every storm there is a rainbow. I may have written similar things in other blog posts but the message is the same and I want to keep reminding you. Whatever happens in life it is mainly how we respond to it and our attitude that effects our happiness. Things will always happen but it is how we face it. We all can get down in the dumps feeling low sometimes and it is hard to see the positive sometimes. Although when you take a chance to reflect on your life you will find you still have a lot to be thankful for and what you are facing will pass. Look back on all the times you have got through something before. It is hard in the moment but it does always get better. 

The best advice I can give you in life which helps too is to be yourself. Your true authentic self. Don’t change because of others but be around people that accept you for you. Not everyone is going to like you but there are always your people out there. I am really thankful for my friends and family and I continue to meet great people along this journey. I continue to learn more about myself too. Sometimes too by learning about yourself you need to make changes within yourself too and be honest with yourself. None of us are perfect, I am certainly not but we can always be better. Be around people too that bring out the best version of you.

Sitting here writing and  finishing this blog, my mind is full of loads of ideas for blog posts. I haven't written in so long and there is so much I want to write about but not all in one post. In fact sitting here writing again I am actually feeling a bit emotional because the fact that I am sat here typing away after so long makes me feel really happy as I haven't been able to for a while. I love to write, I have written lots poems and blog posts and a book when I was a teenager, unpublished. I also want to write another book. I am just happy to be here writing, I hope you are happy too reading what I write. 

One thing thing I want to leave you with this time is to remember that this is your life now, this moment you're living it. The question you need to ask yourself is, are you living it? If not what can you change to live your life? 

Just thought I would give you some things to remember. 

With that I shall love and leave you,
Until I write again,
Nicola Hill

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