Forgiveness

This is going to be a long post. I could feel it before I even began to write. There is a lot to cover on forgiveness. It's the one thing in life that sets us free and sets others free. It's the act of letting go and moving on. I even have a song that will fit perfectly in this post which I'll add near the end.

There are 4 situations where there can be forgiveness:
1. God's forgiveness
2. Forgiving yourself
3. Forgiving others
4. Being forgiven by others

In each of them the type of forgiveness is the same. For there is only one type of forgiveness. The Wikipedia definition of forgiveness is this:
"Forgiveness is the renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, disagreement, or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution."
Forgiveness is letting go, you release your grip on what you've been holding on to. When the anger is gone, the hurt can heal. Unforgiveness is pain and forgiveness is healing. It's finally allowing your wound to heal. You will heal, your relationships will heal and your life will heal. You know the relief you feel when any pain you have is gone, that's the kind of relief you feel when you've forgiven. You feel whole again because forgiveness has a 100% recovery. Nothing is stirring inside of you. You're free.

An example of the greatist forgiveness is when Jesus was nailed to the cross. He didn't want revenge. He didn't hate. He didn't hold a grudge. Luke 23 :34 - And Jesus said, "Father forgive them; for they know not what they do." Jesus asked God to forgive man for putting Him to death. He was betrayed by man. People wanted Him dead and while He was nailed to the cross the only thing on His mind was to ask God to forgive and then He died to save everyone's sins. He died for us so that we will have a chance. He died so that when we sin and we feel bad about our sin we can ask for God's forgiveness. God always forgives.

Jesus also said something about forgiving.
Matthew 18: 22: Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do say to you not seven times, but seventy times seven."

When you're thinking about whether you should forgive or not, think of this:
Colossians 3: 13 "forbearing one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive."

How do we forgive? Do you want to know how to let go of everything someone has done to you? Do you want to know how to forgive yourself? How do we feel forgiven? Look up. Not at your ceiling. At God.

It takes faith to forgive. Putting your faith back in a person. As our faith grows we can forgive. As we grow with God we learn to forgive. We can be hurt by someone who doesn't want to forgive us, we can hurt ourselves by holding on to what people have done to us. God doesn't want us to to hurt or be hurt. That's why when you turn to God with all the things you want to be forgiven for or for help on how to let go, He will forgive you. He will give you a clean slate. It's not about other people forgiving you so you can heal, God can heal you on his own. Remember we answer to God not man. Of course other people may also one day find it in their hearts to forgive you too and that's when the healing of your relationship will begin. Whether they do or not, you are already been forgiven by God and that's the most important thing.

I found this quote on not forgiving, “In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.” ~ Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies. Poison only makes you feel worse the more you drink. The person you are hurting the most by not forgiving someone is yourself.

I read a few quotes on forgiveness tonight and some of these below I posted on my @sayingsoftheday twitter:
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” ~ C.S. Lewis
“A broken friendship that is mended through forgiveness can be even stronger than it once was.” ~ Stephen Richards
“Forgiveness, which is the place that every story turns, the chance we give each other.” ~ Beth Kephart, Undercover
“He forgives without any strings attached.” ~ Jestoni Revealed

One of the best ones I liked was this one:
“You should never hate anyone, not even your worst enemies. Everyone has something good about them. You had to find the redeeming quality and love the person for that.”
~ Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle

I said that after forgiveness comes healing and I found this quote:
“Healing Follows Forgiveness”
~ Pat Bluth

Not forgiving isn't just about holding on to something someone's done to you and refusing to let it go, it's also about what that holding on does to you. It doesn't just stay put inside you, it grows inside you and the resentment and the hurt multiplies. It can get to the point where you're consumed by it. You don't want to forgive. It's not easy to forgive. Well forgiveness is not easy but it is necessary. Until you let it go, it'll have a hold on your life. It'll be something you carry with you wherever you go. Your load will be heavier. There's always a way out. You can lighten your load. Let it go and move on, move forward. Not forgiving will hurt you more than anyone you don't forgive.

I'd like to add another quote I saw the other day at this point:
"Any barrier you build around your heart to protect it from pain also blocks out love." ~ Pst R. Warren.

This is my final quote I will put in this post that I wrote:
Let forgiveness into your heart and watch the love that heals flow.

While you think I've got some music for you. We'll take a pause. I actually think I've written most of what I wanted to write, I may only write a bit more below this song. This is the song I spoke about in the beginnning of my blog post:



The key to forgiving is you've got to forgive yourself too. Whatever you've done or whatever you've held to for however long, forgive yourself. God will forgive you, it's ok. Everything will be ok.

It's almost 1am here on the 18th of September 2012, I've been writing for over an hour. I'm not publishing this blog post yet because there may be something I want to add later today. This topic has given me a lot of think about. I'd like to hear your feedback too. You can always comment on my blog or write to me on twitter @nicolahill7. There's a link to my twitter on the right hand side of my blog.

This is my new poem on Forgiveness that I wrote today as I continue this post...

Forgiveness

One heart, to be free again,
One healing, to take away the pain,
One life, full of forgiving,
This is the life we should be living.

One hope, forgiveness of the past,
One chance, free at last,
One day, is all it will take,
To let go and let the bonds break.

Written by Nicola Hill (18/09/2012)

I've been re-reading what I wrote and I think I've covered what I wanted to write. This blog post on forgiveness can also go with my earlier blog post on "Love." For you cannot have forgiveness without love and love without forgiveness.

There is where I end, I think this blog post has everything it needs, I may write more on this topic again someday.
You can subscribe by email to my blog too to know when I post something, I always have more blog posts in mind.
I thank God for my writing, everything about my life and all the glory goes to Him.
Until I write again,
God Bless,
Nicola Hill

Defining

I looked up the meaning of define in the dictionary and one of the definitions of it was "to make or establish the character of" and that's what my blog post is about.

I saw these quotes today that said:
"People will always judge you, don't let what they say define you."
"Judging a person doesn't define who they are, it defines who you are."

When it comes to people defining you or you defining other people before I even dive in to the topic the first thing I'm thinking about is what does God say? The first verse that came to mind was this; "Judge not, that you not be judged. For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"

Therefore firstly before anything God doesn't say it's our right to even start have a definition. Any character no matter how they are is not ours to define. People cannot be put in a box of "who they are." I'm sure you're thinking, yes they can but defining someone is like saying they can never change. Well how do we know? People can't be defined because there's always a chance for change. A person's character is not written in a permanent marker. God changes people's lives.

If you're on the receiving end and worried about how people are defining you, well what's to worry about? Do you not know who you are? Better yet, God knows who you are. People's definition of you is like a 4 year old trying to do a University degree. Excuse my comparison but what I mean is they're not capable of defining you, no one is. They can try but whatever they say, you know the truth and God always sees the truth.

The only opinion you should be concerned about is God's opinion. God loves you and He will always lead you in the right direction. I read another quote today (can you tell I like quotes) that said "God's word trumps man's opinion." If you're looking for direction in life and what to do in any situation - open up your bible.

Look to God,
Until I write again,
Nicola Hill